Sincerest apologies, dear putative readers, for having been so tardy in my blogging.

In my defence, it’s been a bonkers fortnight in the arts what with Frieze, the comprehensive spending review settlement, the Man Booker Prize and the Turner Prize show and the opening of the London Film Festival.

So lots of idle thoughts that might have come your way are now long gone. (Howard Davies’ Man Booker Prize speech – if you’re going to have a business brain in charge of the judging, couldn’t he at least make it sound as if he’s doing more than beancounting? Alex the cartoon hits the stage – it will get lots of City bums on seats but will it convert them to theatre? And so on.)

But do you want the serious ponderings or the idle gossip? I am so not a 3am Girl so we’re not talking sex, drugs and rock’n’roll here.

But snippets like these. That Alan Yentob, the BBC exec, was incandescent with rate at the latest Sunday Times allegations in the noddy-gate affair. That Dustin Hoffman, who arrived just as I did at the Royal Academy’s opening night party for Georg Baselitz, really is astonishingly short in a way that would undoubtedly preclude him from being a British political leader.

Anyway you see my problem. I'm not a natural blogger, (evidence - this was nearly filed as the words of my colleague, Amar Singh) I'm a hack with a fascinating job. But tell me what you want, what you really really want. And I'll give it a shot.